“When you are perfectly single, then God allows for you to give yourself away.” – Myles Munroe
I knew this day would come, I just didn’t imagine it would be “so soon.”
Wow. Bear with me, this is a long one!
“I Don’t Date”
(my fast) came from a place of hurt. No one hurt me – I’ll take responsibility for my feelings and emotions. However, I was hurt.
Hurt by an idol that let me down.
“The Relationship Idol.”
And I promise, It really hurt.
(I mean duh, it had been my high since age 5.)
As a result of my aches and pains, I decided to abstain from romantic relationships and totally commit to spending time with God and discovering who I am while planting seeds for life w/ future bae-if God wills.
#IssaIyawo #LifePartnerWYA #ImActuallyKidding #IDontWant #MaybeIDo lol.
Now I’m not sure how you all imagine my fast went but I’ll be honest and say it wasn’t easy.
I’d idolized romantic relationships for so long that breaking the chains was kinda tough!
Over the course of my 366 days, I poured my heart out in my notes so I’ll share those that are shareable.
Before we get there, I’ll address a few questions I received.
A friend asked; “How did you keep yourself accountable?”
I mean, I had publicly declared that I wasn’t dating and it would be shameful to go against my own word. I also created concrete reasons as to why I was fasting in the first place. So whenever a yummyy looking, spiritual sounding, God fearing man walked by, I screamed on the inside, felt all the feelings, kicked myself a bit but left it as just that. Why? Because I trust and believe God honors our sacrifices/obedience and I simply don’t ever want to disobey God – for my own sake.
Another asked, “How did you feel spiritually and emotionally?”
God allowed my spirit man to grow through many trials I faced last year. Beyond the scope of relationships, I had a rough year and I learned to lean on God. Emotionally on the other hand, I was a wreck. I’ve always been a hopeless romantic so I remember a point in time when I genuinely hated relationships. I’d walk past couples and actually be disgusted. Then during another phase, I found myself clinging to other things/people emotionally. It became a matter of what I like to call, constantly breaking my own heart (as a stubborn child lol) and learning the hard way.
My mindset towards guys really changed because I had experienced what it’s like walking in alignment with God. I dare not hurt myself again- it’s disrespectful to our creator. I dare not put myself in a situation I know I shouldn’t be in. It sounds so easy but it’s truly only by His grace however, I had to commit in my mind!
These are some questions I asked myself throughout the year:
Are you content in Christ Alone??
Are you rushing contentment so you can “get it out of the way” and have your relationship?
Are you abstaining from him for him or for you?
At a point, I felt as though I was rushing the growth process.
When I tell you temptation stood right before me… hmmm.
I saw guys that looked SO GREAT. Not just physically but also spiritually. I quickly learned lust comes in many forms, not just the physical.
Thankfully (right?), God blocked every and any opportunity I had to fall lol. For example, a guy I quickly became infatuated with never texted me back and didn’t pay attention to me. I literally laughed at myself.
In short, this fast was a time of intense self discovery.
[from my notes]
“I do this thing where I catch feelings that aren’t there.
I get overly excited.
Then, break my own heart as a result of disappointment.
I basically set myself up.
Now question, how can I prevent this? In the healthiest way possible.”
You created me with all of my emotions.
Can you handle it?
Can you help me?”
Remember, relationships are about purpose.
Not the temporary feels that may come, go, fade and flex. It’s about purpose.
As I’ve said many times, singleness does not equate to loneliness and it is a beautiful thing.
Yes, the fast is over however, the work has just begun. Throughout this past year God exposed my pain & desires then challenged me to bring them to the altar.
To my single ladies: Stop sulking (and stalking). The world is twisted and has a twisted way of viewing what God created for His glory. This is your time to build your character, develop new skills, enjoy your space and stop being afraid of standing alone.
For 2 to become 1, there have to be 2 single & whole people.
You can’t expect a whole man and bring 50% to the table.
That would be completely unfair, so work on yourself.
I am officially back on the market and ready to be proposed to.
JUST A JOKE.
Lol.. not really.
Serious candidates only.
My [bride] price went up.
(Please don’t take me seriously, I don’t text back. Ask Jack, Olumayowa and Bill.)
Omo Jesu <3
“Marriage is a collision of two histories” – Myles Munroe
Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. – Proverbs 31:10
25 Now regarding your question about the young women who are not yet married. I do not have a command from the Lord for them. But the Lord in his mercy has given me wisdom that can be trusted, and I will share it with you. 26 Because of the present crisis, I think it is best to remain as you are. 27 If you have a wife, do not seek to end the marriage. If you do not have a wife, do not seek to get married. 28 But if you do get married, it is not a sin. And if a young woman gets married, it is not a sin. However, those who get married at this time will have troubles, and I am trying to spare you those problems. – I Corinthians 7:25-28
Promise me, O women of Jerusalem,
not to awaken love until the time is right. – Songs of Solomon 8:4